tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82586589609252760792011-11-27T18:26:45.284-05:00Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.comBlogger2121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-42198023717934536952011-02-11T07:25:00.000-05:002011-02-11T07:25:39.732-05:00

Every night is amazing with you.  I can't believe what I was missing all that time.  And all it took was work.  Work and love and faith.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Cary, NC 27519, USA35.8028049 -78.927635135.7331934 -79.04436460000001 35.8724164 -78.8109056tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-63271667948898306032011-01-28T21:40:00.000-05:002011-01-28T21:40:34.521-05:00

I'm terrified I'll get hit by an eighteen wheeler and I'll never hear you tell me you love me again.  More than I'm afraid of the large hadron collider.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-4315682525243123592011-01-24T00:00:00.000-05:002011-01-24T00:00:27.750-05:00

Aside from all the awkwardness, I hope you enjoyed tonight as much as I did.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-29199092919778883462011-01-15T08:30:00.000-05:002011-01-15T08:30:00.724-05:00

I can't lie; I'll probably spend a good deal of the day looking off, hoping to see you pull up.  And I'll probably trip on a couple stairs doing so.  And I might not be able to carry two boxes at once.  You always made me feel stronger than I was.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-87183670751116150552011-01-11T20:54:00.000-05:002011-01-11T20:54:40.969-05:00

Picking out an apartment was difficult, but I knew what I wanted and we had never looked for places together.  Picking out dishes and cups is much harder because I still look for the stuff you'd like because it's what I would want too.  I guess if things work out you'll feel comfortable at my place.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-29331108960110579452011-01-11T17:22:00.000-05:002011-01-11T17:22:33.435-05:00

I want to be your roommate so badly that it hurts in my chest, stomach and feet.  It's so hard to know I can't be right now.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-20364484066642817932011-01-11T08:15:00.000-05:002011-01-11T08:15:09.266-05:00

Riding atop one of those tourist double decker buses, headed out from the city, I get the inclination.  I bury my head in your neck and kiss, and you are transported to where there's no cold, no birds and no sun.  We are alone up here.  I ask if you would want to stay a few days.  You want to say yes and then everything else comes back.  The sun, birds and cold and you tell me you really want to

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-4332843680600004002011-01-11T00:42:00.002-05:002011-01-11T00:42:25.981-05:00

I'm piling pillows on the bed under the comforter in hopes that some winter magic will take place and you'll be there when I pull back the sheets.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-56806557183736446452011-01-07T22:08:00.000-05:002011-01-07T22:08:09.149-05:00

I'm reading this poem I'm reading this poem upstairs next to the cat box so eloquent I'm reading this really fucking good poem The kind where your heart tenses up Like when the strings get heavy and the two main characters marry someone they're not supposed to in a montage with the background music I downloaded and put on a mix just because your hand squeezed mine a little bit harder and I almost

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-70121104975070260102011-01-03T22:21:00.000-05:002011-01-03T22:21:47.550-05:00

Resolved: This week will now and forever be referred to as "The Week of Great Messages."  That is all.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Montpelier, VT, USA44.2600593 -72.575386944.1985888 -72.6921164 44.3215298 -72.45865739999999tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-56788589862166423912011-01-02T23:33:00.002-05:002011-01-02T23:33:15.610-05:00

That look you get like you're about to call bullshit on someone kills me.  Seriously.  Keep it up.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-63224485399293549702011-01-01T12:03:00.000-05:002011-01-01T12:03:18.262-05:00

A lawyer would be hard pressed to prove you didn't feel something to send it.  All you need to do is take the next step.  You're good at follow through.  A natural.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-37844811821762641402011-01-01T00:19:00.000-05:002011-01-01T00:19:48.100-05:00

And you waited downstairs amidst the drunk and disorderly just to talk to me, and looking in your eyes when the clock turned over was far better than a kiss you couldn't give.  And yes, we toasted with stolen Oranginas.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-30740593037821216572010-12-31T09:39:00.002-05:002010-12-31T09:39:28.112-05:00

This isn't going to be just another year for us.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-8773123653837493452010-12-30T23:34:00.000-05:002010-12-30T23:34:21.568-05:00

Of course all the perfect ones are taken.  They're not you.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-68836522896342997882010-12-29T23:07:00.000-05:002010-12-29T23:07:01.540-05:00

I wonder what the next girl will enjoy that makes me smile while listening to a lecture.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-9668729692120852662010-12-29T23:05:00.002-05:002010-12-29T23:05:42.757-05:00

Can you make it so I wake up one morning and I'm your relationship status?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-10712185430944238862010-12-29T19:35:00.002-05:002010-12-29T19:35:59.147-05:00

Smile and admit you want me home.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-1713100581263164732010-12-29T13:45:00.002-05:002010-12-29T13:45:45.971-05:00

Winter is hard, but not seeing you smile and get excited on a warm summer day is going to ruin me.  Let's not wait that long.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-9978297237048186692010-12-29T07:57:00.000-05:002010-12-29T07:57:20.930-05:00

Single beds were always better with you.  I'll take the cold wall if you hold onto me all night and won't fall.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-41832928625747039172010-12-28T23:09:00.000-05:002010-12-28T23:09:12.496-05:00

There is a Dewey Hall at school.  Every time I read it I say it in my head like the Italian word for "two."  I know it would make you laugh.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-79041123715192853402010-12-28T21:41:00.000-05:002010-12-28T21:41:32.742-05:00

After days like today I lay in bed and fantasize that you immediately started looking up flight costs to fly up for New Year's Eve.  A time to start again, fresh, without the bothersome baggage of the past.  That you'll bring all your warmest clothes, but still need me to hold you to stop your shivering.  That this bed, though small, will keep us as close as we should have been.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-90616728266975970282010-12-28T15:34:00.000-05:002010-12-28T15:34:57.530-05:00

Grandpa's writing was nearly illegible in the tiny note tied to the lamp.  It said, "When I get home we'll put this on our mantle."  I don't have a lamp, but I do have the will to grow old with you, and I've never wanted to get old with anyone before.  Even myself.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-21004470210539286422010-12-28T08:39:00.000-05:002010-12-28T08:39:51.765-05:00

The next chapter begins today.  I couldn't find the perfect way to end the preceding chapter, so characters will probably come back and emotions may change.  This is certainly not the end of anything, but a way to show the main character in my story isn't as static as you thought.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-5951584921890348242010-12-27T19:38:00.000-05:002010-12-27T19:38:07.530-05:00

When all is said and done, if you met me on the street right now I know you'd have some serious second thoughts about who you're with.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-34515466077543411522010-12-26T23:31:00.000-05:002010-12-26T23:31:42.929-05:00

I think you misunderstood something major.  Kissing before you was like pushing two lumps of fat together.  Kissing you taught me what the act should be, and we had some really great acts before the curtain fell.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-71109076204892127322010-12-26T22:34:00.002-05:002010-12-26T22:34:20.165-05:00

Could I interest you in being snowed in with me?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-66399862925226753712010-12-26T17:01:00.002-05:002010-12-26T17:01:57.441-05:00

Somedays it's not so hard to believe you're thinking about me.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-32671724579308586692010-12-25T14:33:00.000-05:002010-12-25T14:33:40.568-05:00

There's a tiny island within five minutes of here that has a tiny stone fireplace.  The water around the island is frozen to a dark, bubbly glass finish.  We could walk out there with firewood and sit close to stay warm.  The sun would come and go and our phones would mysteriously stop working.  We'd kiss as the fire died, and look at your heavier ring finger and it would be perfect.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-30922621984393296402010-12-24T22:38:00.000-05:002010-12-24T22:38:15.607-05:00

Our Christmas would have been better.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Redding, Connecticut 06896, USA41.3045399 -73.39289841.2884204 -73.4220805 41.320659400000004 -73.3637155tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-24504462759086938662010-12-24T11:40:00.000-05:002010-12-24T11:40:34.844-05:00

Tonight I'd like to be visited by these ghosts.  The first to show me when we were happy, and when I messed up.  The second to show me that you're better without me.  The last to show when I'll be better off.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-78792613199870028012010-12-23T23:36:00.000-05:002010-12-23T23:36:26.673-05:00

A lot of thoughts on that long drive up.  Some angry.  Some sad.  Some happier than they should be.  What it basically came down to is, I wanted your hand to grab my leg and make it jump while we sang our favorite songs to one another.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-26759534896728662882010-12-23T06:53:00.000-05:002010-12-23T06:53:07.472-05:00

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "What a strange narrowness of mind now is that, to think the things we have not known are better than the things we have known." - Samuel Johnson

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-40176744318120222962010-12-21T23:44:00.000-05:002010-12-21T23:44:17.339-05:00

My dick is so big it has tolls. My dick is so big it has fatty nubbins. My dick is so big it has 5.1 surround sound. My dick is so big OSHA has handling guidelines for it. My dick is so big it goes to Chick-fil-A to eat on Sundays.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-71097798498170072992010-12-19T23:51:00.002-05:002010-12-19T23:51:54.691-05:00

I wonder what she'll look like, sitting across from her, among our friends at Christmas dinner, when I've known her 30 years and we're still happily married.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-89530968530074058672010-12-19T14:22:00.002-05:002010-12-19T14:22:36.100-05:00

We were atheists for so long that we forgot how to believe in each other.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-1993378318634869682010-12-19T09:14:00.000-05:002010-12-19T09:14:50.509-05:00

I try to workout early on Sunday.  It's more fun to pretend that I have to get in and get done so I can race home, shower, kiss you awake and get to Coquette for excellent coffee and crepes.  And then I wake up and it's all make believe and a protein bar is all I get.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-17574162129365536182010-12-18T00:28:00.003-05:002010-12-18T09:49:53.845-05:00

I'm having one of those moments when House hears something and suddenly everything connects and makes sense.  This is good.  Dangerous, but good.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-43821299612259111862010-12-17T19:32:00.001-05:002010-12-18T09:49:41.417-05:00

It amazes me some of the things I've done and accomplished without the pseudo-courage of alcohol.  Makes me feel stronger than most people.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-90581753512351208342010-12-17T06:31:00.000-05:002010-12-17T06:31:03.899-05:00

I miss you so much.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-64346818181610876792010-12-16T20:21:00.000-05:002010-12-16T20:21:48.520-05:00

"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." - Unknown "The important thing is this: To be able, at any moment, to sacrifice that which we are for what we could become." - Charles DuBois "Dare to be imperfect and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate." - Robert Brault

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-4409724778900455382010-12-16T12:42:00.003-05:002010-12-16T19:24:24.071-05:00

There is nothing in this world as nice as a threadbare shirt around the right person's curves.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-49506690647643114372010-12-16T09:05:00.000-05:002010-12-16T09:05:38.897-05:00

That corduroy jacket looks amazing on you.  The little bits of fur sticking out around the collar make you look tan in this grey winter.  Could you love me?  Or at least keep me warm for a few months?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-8660359731405852732010-12-15T23:32:00.002-05:002010-12-15T23:32:41.503-05:00

I know you're essential, so please get to work safely and drive slow.  Or just cozy up in a bed at the hospital.  Just stay safe.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-34956964186917015762010-12-15T08:21:00.002-05:002010-12-15T08:21:41.851-05:00

Can we work out a deal where you send me your guacamole every week of the summer if I send you something you need?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-29639395510683060332010-12-13T22:35:00.000-05:002010-12-13T22:35:21.972-05:00

She'll have dark grey tank tops that are a little loose from wear.  They'll hit right below the small of her back and little cotton shorts will peek out from underneath.  She'll brew coffee as I fold omelettes.  Onions, green peppers, mushrooms and salsa.  And then we'll squeeze orange juice.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-72099611159722363012010-12-13T12:08:00.000-05:002010-12-13T12:08:56.061-05:00

I hope I get to be the dramatic rain scene you've always wanted.  And then I hope something behind us explodes and we walk away in slow motion while the fire rages.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-48501178776559087472010-12-12T10:06:00.002-05:002010-12-12T10:06:57.890-05:00

I can drive an hour out of my way for a cat, but not the woman I love?  What the hell?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-83947891238024591472010-12-11T23:44:00.000-05:002010-12-11T23:44:36.209-05:00

The other night, on a vocabulary quiz at the center, a young girl wrote the definition of "senses" as, "What daddy lets you feel."  If that's not a Tom Waits song waiting to happen then I don't know what is.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-23888132675112939702010-12-11T18:34:00.003-05:002010-12-11T20:52:17.809-05:00

Despite everything, I'm really glad you're not with the physicist.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-16783490135015678972010-12-10T06:35:00.003-05:002010-12-11T20:50:47.985-05:00

This job has nearly taken everything from me.  I'm sorry.  Time to fight complacency.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-59819846564195539522010-12-10T05:49:00.003-05:002010-12-11T20:50:31.998-05:00

Now I wake every morning and look for two women missing from my life.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-80842189338202997432010-12-09T06:58:00.002-05:002010-12-09T06:58:52.999-05:00

I text, half awake, in the morning because I just want to be talking in bed, drifting in and out of sleep.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-32580691442676376112010-12-08T11:37:00.000-05:002010-12-08T11:37:15.858-05:00

People keep telling me the person I love will show up in my life when I least expect it.  That would be right now.  Where is she?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-21618128814178110242010-12-07T19:45:00.000-05:002010-12-07T19:45:49.897-05:00

Tonight we might be saying goodbye to the cat.  This year sucks.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-17996733886762905192010-12-07T12:34:00.000-05:002010-12-07T12:34:13.982-05:00

I was with Bonnie this past weekend and she was telling me that she's an LPN, and from habit I almost blurted out, "Oh!  My girlfriend would be your boss."

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-68625997131508324152010-12-05T14:41:00.000-05:002010-12-05T14:41:07.758-05:00

Target isn't the same without you.  I miss immediately ducking into the women's clothing with you, working to the lingerie and onto men's clothes so you can tell me what I would look good in.  Ikea will never be as classy.  All the things we were going to get for my office, the bedroom and our new couch.  Charlotte Russe and Forever 21 just sit empty without your business.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-37996242067134086622010-12-03T11:34:00.000-05:002010-12-03T11:34:09.744-05:00

This goes out to the lady at Subway attempting to order a veggie sub.  First off, you're fifty some years old.  How have you never been to a Subway restaurant before?  Secondly, those are vegetables.  Just because they aren't the ones you want doesn't give you carte blanche to berate the sandwich artist in front of other customers.  And what kind of vegetables do you put on your sandwiches at

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-86104828100478561762010-12-03T08:27:00.001-05:002010-12-04T22:55:36.799-05:00

Just remembered this song, and thought of you.  Thank you for the autograph.  I miss you every second.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-80485286693543613182010-12-03T07:58:00.000-05:002010-12-03T07:58:10.402-05:00

Last night, I watched you take him home to what was to be our house.  The street where we lived was dark and ready for Christmas.  The woods were dark, and the house was dark, and I watched you shut the door and go for the night.  The next night, you welcomed me in.  He was gone for the evening and wouldn't be home.  We made dinner.  Something spicy and Asian with bean sprouts and noodles and

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-30849047967348903442010-12-01T20:54:00.000-05:002010-12-01T20:54:50.897-05:00

Stumbling through the ice and snow to Mac's.  God knows if it's even open.  We can barely walk, so driving is out.  I drove through fear and winter storm dark to be there with you because there was no place else I would rather be snowed in.  The blankets and dark, cozy living room we huddled in to watch the orange snow in the street lamps.  Horrible movies and life changing ones.  Our buddy's

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-46870307250934265302010-12-01T15:13:00.000-05:002010-12-01T15:13:48.480-05:00

I miss my kitty today.  Very much.  Wouldn't it be nice to drive an hour home and make stew with you and then cuddle in the bed upstairs and read while we toss the lettuce tie off the bed for him to do backflips.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-58889580874005646962010-12-01T06:06:00.000-05:002010-12-01T06:06:31.170-05:00

I'm hoping I don't have to love someone as well as I can love you.  I'm hoping someone else doesn't get the life you deserve.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-28863571255268117722010-11-29T19:39:00.002-05:002010-11-29T19:39:37.574-05:00

If this were some dramatic movie I'd take you by the arms and shake you, saying, "Dammit!  I didn't work on us for six years to be without you!"  And you'd come to your senses.  The shaking would help.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-63216239523374279942010-11-28T20:09:00.000-05:002010-11-28T20:09:18.239-05:00

I would much rather be reading Kerouac to you in bed tonight than anything else.  Fake, ridiculous accent and all.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-25246090996596866992010-11-28T18:47:00.000-05:002010-11-28T18:47:02.802-05:00

Starting into Anthony Bourdain's Medium Raw I'm reminded of something: All this shit, this incredibly long, nitrogen-induced depression and horrible break up; it all came from somewhere.  Bourdain writes about a dinner he was invited to that, by all means, he shouldn't have been.  He's surrounded by chefs he looks up to, and feels he'll never touch culinarily.  This dinner causes him to reflect

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-24175711962552800412010-11-26T12:05:00.000-05:002010-11-26T12:05:09.641-05:00

We woke up early and headed into Raleigh, and even though it wasn't on the way to the airport we went to Coquette for coffee and crepes.  I miss you every second.The new Express commercial made me want to buy you a new dress and a reason to wear it.  A wedding would be an occasion.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-50574952536813802022010-11-26T00:37:00.000-05:002010-11-26T00:37:46.806-05:00

Finishing Big Sur was going to be the end of all my problems and pain. That's how I built it up.  Finished it tonight.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-26714054446469931142010-11-25T19:59:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:13:16.906-05:00

I imagine us being done traveling for the day and getting drowsy on the way home.  Then we crash into bed in loose fitting pants and watch some Anthony Bourdain on Netflix as we kiss goodnight.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-52089421983244025192010-11-25T16:34:00.002-05:002010-11-25T22:13:35.429-05:00

A bowl if pistachios looks so much better with a diamond engagement ring buried in it.  Love you quietly from afar.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-7254851266321516822010-11-25T09:39:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:14:13.935-05:00

When it was time to go around the table and say what we were thankful for I couldn't keep my voice about me.  It sputtered and cracked and I wiped my nose with the good cloth napkin and strained to say, "You."

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-13194143273261512672010-11-24T12:14:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:14:45.439-05:00

I can't stop thinking of what I was going to say tomorrow to your Dad.  My hands are all nervous and fidgity.  He was going to shake that hand though, and smile.  The same way he would have next year as he passed you off.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-19197079909081620492010-11-24T09:31:00.003-05:002010-11-25T22:15:10.354-05:00

Thanksgiving was better two years ago when I knew at the end of the day I was driving down to be with you for it.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-57231245310116810282010-11-24T00:24:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:15:32.232-05:00

While everyone else talked about spending the holidays with their significant other's families I held back the tears.  I truly made myself believe tonight would change things.  Flowers and all.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-7971589138927435142010-11-22T22:31:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:15:50.105-05:00

Really needed you in the backseat of the car today for knowing sideways glances and head shaking.  You know why.  We were never that bad.  I think you know that.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-4743371458526826162010-11-21T12:13:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:16:46.905-05:00

I know today is your Dad's birthday, so I'm probably not likely to see you today.  I wish we were driving down there to cook for him and celebrate.  I'll drive home while you sleep.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-71836748543372676692010-11-21T12:10:00.001-05:002010-11-25T22:17:06.274-05:00

While I was showering you snuck in, pulled the curtain back letting the cold air in like you always do.  You made it up by kissing me under the water for 15 minutes.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-82790355916819863722010-11-21T02:24:00.002-05:002010-11-25T22:17:45.458-05:00

It's truly ridiculous you weren't here tonight.  If you thought the Roaring 20's party you went to was awesome this was like being transported back to that time, hanging out with Gatsby and getting to spend the night in his mansion.  You could have worn your Flapper hat and we would have looked great together.  Pearls and all.  We wouldn't have stopped smiling since we got here.  I miss you so

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-75150956415421684722010-11-20T17:52:00.002-05:002010-11-25T22:18:13.457-05:00

Tired of being without you.  Please let me back in.  Honey?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-3982409357807960322010-11-20T16:04:00.004-05:002010-11-25T22:18:32.965-05:00

I would give up every second of this trip for a call saying this was a horrible mistake and I should come home.  Nothing is the same.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-49610616303046635262010-11-20T13:25:00.002-05:002010-11-25T22:19:00.321-05:00

It's cold today.  You're working and it's crappy, but those patients need you more than I do.  The house is toasty warm from all four burners, and it smells so good.  I'm going to start working on a good way to get the buddy to carry the ring out to you when you get home.  At the moment he's trying to tear it off his red collar.  Good thing he's cuddly in the cold, winter months.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-51462727559329208572010-11-19T23:08:00.002-05:002010-11-25T22:19:34.241-05:00

I keep hoping the letter changed your mind and you're driving down here and you'll knock on the door, and we'll cry a little.  We'll kiss.  I'll probably cry some more, and you'll tell me to stop being ridiculous.  And I won't stop smiling ever again.  Atlanta isn't the same without you. Scott and Pat missed you tonight.  Athena's ring looks kind of like yours.  Not white gold, but I know what

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-90922763655325175052010-11-19T15:06:00.001-05:002010-11-21T11:03:02.046-05:00

Standing here, in the sun and cool Fall wind, it would be so much better with you.  The promise of a weekend to ourselves.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-77661278633744052842010-11-18T23:48:00.002-05:002010-11-21T11:02:23.325-05:00

Got home late tonight. You uncovered, smiled, pulled back the sheet. Dark hairs again on the sheets.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-76190589029648970292010-11-17T11:48:00.000-05:002010-11-17T11:48:37.559-05:00

"Do you think we can get through this?""I promise we will.  You'll never wait on me again.""Can you come home?"

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-49378987594259517812010-11-14T01:16:00.000-05:002010-11-14T01:16:41.984-05:00

Tonight, in a pathetic attempt to move forward, I went to see Anthony Bourdain's lecture at the Progress Energy Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Raleigh.  It struck some chords.  I don't even know that much about the guy, but his drive, knowledge and confidence make me want to be just like him.  Sort of like Henry Rollins or Chuck Palahniuk, some people just exude this extraordinary

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1Grove park Inn, 290 Macon Ave, Asheville, NC 28804, USA35.6206051 -82.542396835.6031621 -82.57157930000001 35.6380481 -82.5132143tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-43589219330553733982010-11-10T18:57:00.000-05:002010-11-10T18:57:07.811-05:00

Lay your head on my shoulderCome love and sit by meAnd watch the stars fall byon their respective galactic itinerariesLay your head on my shoulderAnd I will rock you to sleepAnd the touch of your breath on my neckWill make everything feel so temporaryIf we don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathMaybe the universe will get bored with us bothAnd pack up and leaveSo now we’re stuck out in orbitYou and

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8429718 -78.633327435.8081833 -78.6916924 35.8777603 -78.5749624tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-68598812681686968512010-09-23T20:22:00.000-04:002010-09-23T20:22:42.073-04:00

Found some more pictures of my dream home.  This is the bedroom.  Picture a grey cat sitting on the edge of the bed, getting shed hair all over the white comforter. There will be no birch logs standing in any fireplaces.  All fireplaces will be functional.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-29322768491395452612010-09-08T09:03:00.000-04:002010-09-08T09:03:42.364-04:00

Like most great achievements through time, this started with a bet.  A simple, and stupid bet that should have been researched a little more, or never made at all.  Think of Horatio Jackson or Simon and Ehrlich.  But, late-night ignorance and exhaustion will make you do strange things (i.e. this blog posting).  Comfort will make you do even stranger things.  It was a warm night in August when I

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com2Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-16019373957218574682010-08-29T17:28:00.001-04:002010-08-29T17:31:00.025-04:00

  “We, the American working population/ Hate the fact that eight hours a day/ Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn’t us/ And we may not hate our jobs,/ But we hate jobs in general/ That don’t have to do with fighting our own causes.”  I recently filled out a survey from Best Buy.  Offers come printed on the receipt with a website and a 16 digit code, along with promises of

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-41659624770274502312010-08-15T00:16:00.000-04:002010-08-15T00:16:59.380-04:00

     Can't sleep tonight.  At least right now.  I've been laying in there for a half hour and something is nagging at me keeping me awake.  I don't know what it is.  This is the first time since I've been back that sleeping has been a problem.  Perhaps it's a sign that sleep is a luxury again.  For the three weeks I was in Saratoga Springs, sleep was the necessity.  Now, I guess my body can take

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Southern Pines, NC, USA35.1740471 -79.392253935.103888600000005 -79.5089834 35.2442056 -79.2755244tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-19621827392624523592010-05-04T23:17:00.000-04:002010-05-04T23:17:19.817-04:00

     As usual, I have overlooked something.  Something very important.  I'll explain.  Last week at work was very difficult, as this week is proving to be.  The entire summer has the possibility of being the same way.  We're rolling out a lot of new products that are all very labor intensive since the Atlanta Bakehouse closed.  Apparently, they had a staff that could handle bagging and labeling

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-31619914426139626482010-04-07T19:06:00.000-04:002010-04-07T19:06:28.227-04:00

Every now and then I have to reassure myself that I'm pretty cool.  This is one of those times.  No big-headedness about it.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-58750254052221781672010-02-26T16:34:00.000-05:002010-02-26T16:34:04.637-05:00

I don't see why I should recycle when you can't do math. Assume there exists an elephant (x).  x = 9,600 lbs. 8 elephant(s) = 8x. 8 multiplied by the accepted value of x (9,600 lbs.) is equal to 76,800 lbs. Now, don't go thinking you have to convert pounds to metrics because all measurements are the same.  We're just dealing with pounds.  Unfortunately, the drop-out that made this flyer

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0409 Airport Blvd, Morrisville, NC 27560, USA35.842695 -78.82953335.8383465 -78.8368285 35.8470435 -78.8222375tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-24146005029602977502010-02-21T13:54:00.001-05:002010-02-21T15:15:29.796-05:00

You are the only person who/ has blocked out the sun./ You & you, only one who ever smeared their faces, their/ actions, in a blur behind us/ here, doing a crossword/ @ six am -- all love/ I do not [unreadable], you said. hang curtainsWHOLD FOODS:- flax oil- salt- luna (less fat)- chips 4 sunday- salsa too- tomato to add cleanlaundarypillowrun

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC, USA35.7896807 -78.658046535.7891367 -78.6589585 35.790224699999996 -78.6571345tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-89284780708687839582010-02-17T22:38:00.000-05:002010-02-17T22:38:55.608-05:00

     I won't bore you with the fabulous details of the first dream I remember having last night.  The second one would be more interesting to everyone.  Unless you're a frat boy.  Then the first one would be quite entertaining.  I say this only on the basis that there were frat boys in it, and frat boys love other frat boys, right?     So, the dream started and I was walking through a mall.  

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-42592894779361191742010-01-24T20:11:00.000-05:002010-01-24T20:11:46.351-05:00

     Something of New York is something of New York is something of New York she's moving through the kitchen she's moving, knows the cups, knows her hands, knows the cups and the tearing torn clothes tearing torn tearing torn clothes and skin where clothes would be shouldn't and all the fumblings of something of New York is her waist and pulling her close is her waist is her pulling her close.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-62632227438922767982010-01-23T23:32:00.001-05:002010-01-23T23:33:28.399-05:00

Engulf a system.  Remember it so you can adhere to it.  Adhere to it, and engulf it.  With time, everything that comes in will go out, and that system has to save everything.  There need to be tape recorders and file cabinets.  A keyboard's keys should be worn, and muscle memory will be the only thing that lets you know which stroke is which.  There need to be file cabinets, dated and

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com0Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-1817732405517461932010-01-22T21:47:00.000-05:002010-01-22T21:47:10.849-05:00

I want to build this desk.  Right now, carpentry might be my hobby when I start grad school.  I come from a long line of carpenters, and it's only proper that I should continue.  How else will I get good enough to build my own boat?

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com2Raleigh, NC 27609, USA35.8409242 -78.622850435.8061352 -78.6812154 35.87571320000001 -78.56448540000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8258658960925276079.post-63439230451361884412009-09-24T00:39:00.001-04:002009-09-24T00:39:59.487-04:00

Even the cookies don't want to be at work.

Ian Wallacenoreply@blogger.com1